Free Online Relationship Advice
Welcome to Free Online Relationship Advice

Welcome to Free Online Relationship Advice

Have you given up on your relationship?

It’s hard and even scary to figure out what to do in your relationships. That’s why I created this blog: To help thoughtful people like you enjoy great relationships.

I’m relationship coach Guy Farmer and I love helping open-minded people learn how to build positive reationships.

 


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Thanks for visiting. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

Cheers,

Guy

I Was Immature and Scared

I Was Immature and Scared

The Relationship Question

I was hanging out with this really sweet shy guy for a few months but we stopped talking because I was just really immature and scared, I thought I had to play "hard to get." I gave him the impression I wasn't interested in him. I called him and asked if he was home because I was at a going away party on his street and wanted to talk to him. He was out and then texted me he was dating someone now. I asked how his night was, he didn't respond. Help please, any advice?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard when you look back on a relationship and wish you had done something differently. The good part is that it gives you an opportunity to behave differently in the future. You might want to take some time to think about what worked and what didn’t work and then adjust accordingly in the future.

It’s OK to make mistakes, the important point is to learn from what happened in the past. As far as reaching out to him, you get to decide if you want to contact him again. If he isn’t interested, you’re still a great person. Regardless of his response, you get to take your new knowledge and build stronger relationships in the future.

Keep working on being the happiest, healthiest you possible and you’ll attract nice people who appreciate who you are. You’re worth it.

Flirting with Me Like His Girlfriend Doesn’t Exist

Flirting with Me Like His Girlfriend Doesn’t Exist

The Relationship Question

I've liked this guy ever since we started to get serious a little over a year ago. While we were talking, he stopped talking to me for another girl whom he is currently dating - for a year, so far. Since we've stopped talking, we've hung out with with our mutual best friend and every time he's flirted with me like the girlfriend doesn't exist. I didn't even know he was still with her but I kept my distance anyway. Our friend even said that we look good together. I don't know what to think.

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what you want to do in any relationship and how you want to be treated. You might want to take some time to think about what’s worked, what hasn’t and what you would like to ask him about and then talk calmly and kindly with him. Ask him questions, listen to him and let him know what you think and feel as well.

Make sure to pay attention to whether his actions match his words because, the way he behaves now is likely to be how he acts in the future. It’s up to you to decide if his behavior is acceptable to you. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who behaves well, wants to be with you exclusively and treats you with respect.

Signs That Someone Is Cheating

Signs That Someone Is Cheating

The Relationship Question

What are the signs that someone is cheating?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for your question. Signs of cheating include:

  • Change in behavior.
  • Secretiveness.
  • Stories that don’t make sense.
  • Working late or changing one’s schedule.
  • Strange phone calls or online activity.
  • Change in the way he or she communicates.
  • Changes in wardrobe.
  • Change in mood.
  • Change in level of interest in one’s partner.

One of the best ways to tell if someone is cheating is to listen to your inner voice. If it’s telling you something is not quite right, then it might be a good idea to listen to it. Try not to jump to conclusions, just observe the other person’s behavior for any changes.

It’s a good idea to try to communicate calmly and kindly with the other person and gather information so you can determine what’s really going on and what you want to do.

He Got Drunk and Slept with Another Girl

He Got Drunk and Slept with Another Girl

The Relationship Question

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We've lived together for just about 2 of those years. We've been friends going on 7 years. About a year into our relationship, he got drunk and slept with another girl - and lied about it for almost a year. He's done everything imaginable to make up for it, but I can't get passed it. I can't imagine a life without him, but I keep flirting with anyone I can as a means of showing him what he did to me. I don't know how to avoid this. Help?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. There are really only two things you can do when someone has cheated:

  1. You forgive him.
  2. You don’t forgive him.

It will be up to you to decide which one of those options is best for you. The thing to watch out for is being in a relationship where you’re trying to get him back for it or making him pay for it forever.

There’s no excuse for what he did but you’ll be the one who decides whether you’re willing to move on. If you can’t then you might consider ending the relationship so you both can find someone else. If you want to salvage the relationship it can be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor together and/or individually. Remember to listen to your inner voice and do what you think is best for you.

Should I Go Back to Him?

Should I Go Back to Him?

The Relationship Question

I was in an international long-distance relationship for four years, I even travelled overseas and stayed with him for a week. There was never any concern over infidelity, adultery or anything of the kind. Our relationship was strong, we communicated well and were devoted to each another. He put our relationship on hold due to personal issues he had in his own life. I understood, painfully, and attempted to comfort myself. I felt used, pushed away, and discouraged and I began to think I would never love anyone as much as I loved him. Two months ago he contacted me and wanted to get back together, but I felt we had drifted too far apart and live so far away from each other. In the meantime, I met someone new who I am not in love with but who I am interested in. What should I do? Should I go back to him?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and with whom. Perhaps you might ask yourself a few questions to clarify what you want to do, such as:

  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • How do I want to be treated?
  • What does each person’t behavior tell me about how they will behave in the future?
  • What would be the effect of any decision I might make?
  • What decision can I make that will help me treat myself well and move my life in a positive direction?
  • What things am I doing to make sure I’m the healthiest and most balanced person possible without a significant other in my life?

Asking yourself questions like these will help you decide what you want to do. The key is to make decisions that help you move in a positive direction and enjoy healthy relationships. It’s also a good idea to pay attention to how people have behaved in the past because it signals what they’re likely to do in the future.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who treats you wonderfully and helps you live a positive life.