Free Online Relationship Advice

Ex and I Broke up on Ambiguous Terms

The Relationship Question

My ex and I broke up on very ambiguous terms. A few weeks after our breakup we kept up a friends with benefits relationship. We would also hang out on a daily basis, just hanging out, no sex. He eventually put a stop to the sex saying it felt too weird. I recently decided to write him a letter confessing my feelings. He initially acted very loving and even hugged me, the first time since the break up but, after asking him to a party, he’s started avoiding me. I don’t know what’s going on.

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s hard to go through a break up, especially if it’s unclear what’s going on. You get to decide what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated. You might ask yourself a few questions to clarify what you want to do, such as:

  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • How do I know I’m in a relationship?
  • How do I want the other person to behave?
  • How do I want to be treated?
  • What do I deserve in a relationship?
  • What’s worked so far, what hasn’t and what might I do differently in the future?
  • What am I doing to make sure I’m the healthiest and most balanced me possible without a significant other?

Ask yourself some questions like these and you’ll eventually figure out what’s best for you. You might also consider trying to talk with him. Ask him questions and listen to his answers without reacting, just listen to what he says. Also pay attention to his behavior, it’s sending you messages as well.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is willing to be with you exclusively, communicate openly and treat you wonderfully. You’re worth it.

How to Get Him to Like Me

The Relationship Question

There is a really cute guy I know who plays guitar. I asked him to play with me for a concert I will be singing in. He said yes! I’m so happy, and I think it’s a great time for me to turn on my charm. Any advice for the practicing and how I could get him to like me or think of me more?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the best ways to get to know someone is by doing things you love and sharing common interests. Music is a great way to express who you are and what’s important to you.

You don’t have to worry about acting a certain way, just be your amazing self and enjoy his company. Play music, talk about things, ask him questions, tell him about you, have a good time and get to know each other in a friendly way.

As you get to know him you’ll know if he’s a good fit for you. The only thing you have to focus on is being your charming self.

Should I Talk to Him or Leave Him?

The Relationship Question

My boyfriend of 5 years recently ended our relationship. His reasons are still unclear and he won’t be honest or doesn’t know how he feels. It feels like I’m in limbo when it comes to our future together (he said things weren’t over). I no longer know what to do. I feel that ending all contact with him would be best (delete him of my friends lists and such) and just get over him. Should I try to talk to him or should I just leave him?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to make sure you take care of yourself in any relationship. You get to decide how you want to be treated and what kind of relationship you want. You might want to ask yourself a couple of questions to clarify your next step, such as:

  • What can I do to take care of myself?
  • What decision can I make that would affect my life most positively?
  • What kind of relationship do I want?
  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • What does his behavior pattern tell me?
  • What am I doing to celebrate how wonderful I am?

Take some time to think about questions like these and you’ll eventually figure out what you want to do. If you’re still unclear (and if you want to) you can talk with him kindly and calmly and ask him questions. Make sure to listen without reacting negatively or interrupting, just learn about his perspective.

In a healthy relationship, people tell each other what’s going on and don’t leave each other hanging. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and communicates openly.

I Love My Boyfriend but Want to Break up with Him

The Relationship Question

I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I love him VERY much. He’s great to me. BUT he doesn’t go to the dentist, and I have to remind him all the time to shave, cut his hair and nails, clean his ears, and he’s pretty overweight. When I try to help him, he gets defensive and says he knows what he needs to do… but he hasn’t done much. I feel that, if he doesn’t know how to take care of HIMSELF, then he isn’t ready to be in a relationship. It’s hard, but is my reason valid?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. You get to decide who you want to be with in a relationship and what’s acceptable behavior. It’s up to you to choose people that meet your needs and are a good fit for you. You might find it helpful to think about what you want in a relationship and ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • What kind of person do I want to be with?
  • How do I want them to behave?
  • What are the qualities my significant other must have?
  • What things are negotiable?
  • What has worked in my current relationship and what hasn’t?
  • What would I do differently in the future?
  • What will I do when someone doesn’t fit my needs?

You can’t do anything about how other people behave, it’s up to them to fix themselves. What you can do is be with people who make you feel great and help you move your life in a positive direction. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is a good match for you, cares about himself and cares about you.

Boyfriend Becoming Distant

The Relationship Question

I’m 24 years old and I have been seeing my 22 year old boyfriend for 5 months. Before this we were best friends for three years (we met in college). Recently, I have found my boyfriend becoming distant and completely ignoring my text messages, I find myself feeling like I have done something wrong to upset him and it makes me very emotional, to the point where I am crying myself to sleep. Any help and advice on what I can do?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the most effective ways to figure out what’s going on in a relationship is to talk calmly and kindly with the person. Set aside some time with him when you both can talk. Each of you talks about what’s on your mind and the other person listens without interrupting. Make it brief, calm and kind.

As you listen to what he has to say you’ll have a better idea of what’s going on in his mind. If he doesn’t want to talk then that’s his decision. It’s always a good idea to pay close attention to his behavior. Watch what he’s doing and what message he may be sending you. The way he’s behaving now is likely to be how he behaves in the future.

When people love each other they do everything possible to spend time with each other and be kind and supportive. When they don’t do that it means other things. It will be up to you to listen to what your brain says and decide if you’re in a relationship that is working for you.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where the other person wants to spend time with you and makes a genuine effort to communicate. You’re worth it.