Free Online Relationship Advice
Welcome to Free Online Relationship Advice

Welcome to Free Online Relationship Advice

Have you given up on your relationship?

It’s hard and even scary to figure out what to do in your relationships. That’s why I created this blog: To help thoughtful people like you enjoy great relationships.

I’m relationship coach Guy Farmer and I love helping open-minded people learn how to build positive reationships.

 


Have you given up on your relationship? My practical Relationship Guide can help you fix it.

 


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Thanks for visiting. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

Cheers,

Guy

I Want to Leave My Fiancé

I Want to Leave My Fiancé

The Relationship Question

I have 20 billion reasons why I should leave my fiancé, and really deep down I want to, but I keep hanging on because a part of me still loves her and I feel responsible for her. I know I would be better off on my own, and I would love to go back to living my life the way it was before her, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Any advice?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you. Perhaps you might ask yourself a few questions to clarify what you want to do:

  • What are the positives in the relationship?
  • What are the negatives?
  • What are the characteristics that are important to me in a significant other?
  • What do I need to do to take care of myself?
  • What do I really want to do?

The general idea in any long-term relationship is for both people to be fully committed and ready to do anything to make it work. If one person isn’t all there then it affects the quality of the relationship for both.

You both deserve to be in a relationship where the other person is a great match for you based on your needs and what’s important to you. You might find it helpful to talk with your fiance about what you’re thinking and feeling. Do it gently and calmly. The idea is to get these issues out in the open and talk about them. Make sure to listen to her without interrupting or reacting negatively and learn about her.

Have a series of kind conversations where you both talk about what’s really important. As you talk with each other you’ll both gain a deeper understanding of where your relationship stands. Once you both have more information, you can decide what works for each of you.

Remember that you both deserve to be in a relationship where you’re fully committed to the other person and they feel the same way about you.

She’s Not Sure about Her Feelings

She’s Not Sure about Her Feelings

The Relationship Question

I am confused. My ex broke up with me twice. The first time she stated that we are way too different but that she still had feelings for me. The final time she said she wasn't sure of her feelings. I wanted some closure and asked her why, she said I wasn't what she wanted. We have the same group of friends so we're cordial. Anyway, a couple weeks ago she has been very affectionate and we hooked up two times, but recently I am being affectionate too but now she is acting uninterested and cold. What does all this mean?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s important to watch how people behave in a relationship because it’s likely to be how they’ll act in the future. That means that you get to decide whether the way she’s acting now is the way you want to be treated.

In a healthy relationship, the people are clear about their feelings and actions and work hard to treat each other well and behave in positive ways. You might want to take some time to think about what kind of relationship you want and how you want to be treated and then decide what’s best for you.

Remember that you’re an important person and you deserve to be with someone who behaves in a healthy, balanced way and values who you are.

Struggling to Think of Things to Talk About

Struggling to Think of Things to Talk About

The Relationship Question

I met this girl via a friend and she's the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life. Sometimes I look at her and my heart stops. I've been with her for a few months and the thing is I find myself struggling to think of things to talk to her about and it's just awkward. I really love this girl, I just get worked up because I feel like I should be able to just talk to her and be silly with her. I'm so comfortable around her, I just wish I could talk more.

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. There are no rules as to how you have to act in a relationship except for being yourself and behaving kindly. That means that you get to decide how you talk with her.

You might find it helpful to think of talking with her as being similar to talking with a friend. Hang out with her, ask her questions, listen to her, tell her what’s on your mind, be friendly and enjoy her company. You don’t have to say the perfect thing, just be yourself.

Two of the most important communication skills in a relationship are asking questions and listening. When you ask her questions and listen to what she has to say you’ll be building the relationship ans showing her you care. When you’re comfortable, you can share things about yourself as well.

Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who communicates openly with you and likes the real you.

He Started Acting Differently

He Started Acting Differently

The Relationship Question

My boyfriend and I broke up. We had been dating for a year, but I felt like these last months he was starting to act differently towards me. He started to not give me much attention, he preferred to play video games rather than go out with me and acted as if he was thinking, "I already got her, no need to keep trying to maintain the relationship." So I decided to break up with him so he would value me more. He is starting to pursue me again, but hasn't really gone out of his comfort zone much yet. Should I remain firm?

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. It’s always a good idea to ask people to treat you the way you want to be treated. Lots of people find themselves in difficult relationship situations because they don’t stand up for themselves or trust their instincts.

The best measure of what someone thinks about you is how they behave toward you. It’s entirely appropriate to ask your boyfriend to treat you the way you want to be treated. The only way you’ll know for sure if he really cares about you and respects you is if he acts that way, not once, but over a long period of time.

Once you’re satisfied that he’s behaving in a positive way, you can decide what to do next. Don’t forget to do things on your own that help you feel great about yourself as well. You’re a valuable person and you deserve to be with someone who treats you wonderfully.

We Have Nothing to Talk About

We Have Nothing to Talk About

The Relationship Question

Me and my really close best guy friend used to talk for hours, now we have nothing to talk about. Every 5 minutes it's like, "Hi, whats up?" "Nothing, you?" "Same..." and it basically goes on like that. Please help me! What are some good things to talk about? Examples please? Thanks.

The Relationship Advice

Thank you for sharing your situation. One of the most positive ways to keep a conversation going in a relationship is to ask questions and listen to the answers. It’s also important to realize that conversations don’t have to be amazing or exciting all the time, sometimes they’re just basic.

You might try the following exercise together:

  • Ask the person a question that doesn’t lead to a yes or a no answer and is meaningful to you.
  • Listen to the answer.
  • If the other person has nothing to say then, no problem, just ask another question.
  • The other person gets to do the same thing.
  • Don’t force the conversation or try to move it in any certain direction, just let it happen. If it doesn’t, tell the person you really care about them and that you look forward to talking the next time.
  • Keep practicing.

Keep in mind that neither of you has to act a certain way or say something brilliant, just be yourselves, listen to each other and learn about each other. If it seems like things aren’t working out well, ask a question about that and listen to what the other person has to say.

As far as the talking part, think in terms of just hanging out with a friend and telling them about things that are meaningful and important to you. Share your feelings with each other and be there for each other. Give each other space if appropriate. Remember that you both deserve to be yourselves, talk about important things and listen to each other.